150 Things I Will Not Do In The Sanctuary
by Lord Sanguine
Summary: "It's a list, a list of 150 things which should never be done in the Sanctuary or elsewhere." Rated T for now. No fixed pairings yet but if you have any suggestions review or PM me.
1. The List

**Author's Note: This is the story I talked about in Flesh and Blood and it will be a list of 150 things which shall not be done in the sanctuary and elsewhere. This will contain Death Bringer Spoilers so if you haven't read the book yet then read it and come back. Anyway did anyone else watch Season 2 of Sherlock? It was really good but they had to end it there. It sucks how to have to wait a whole year for three episodes. Back to the story.**

**Disclaimer: I am not Derek Landy, I do not own the Skulduggery Pleasant series, any characters or locations from the series or anything else from the series. **

**Chapter 1:**

"I'm bored," I said for the 50th time that day.

"Then do something," Replied her skeletal partner lifting his head up from the newspaper he was reading.

They were sitting down at his house. Why? Because there was nothing to do. It was like the criminals were all on holiday.

"Do what," I asked.

"Go write a list," He said chucking a notepad and a pen at me.

"About what," I asked.

"Figure it out yourself," He replied.

I thought for a while and then I had an idea. I quickly wrote it down and started the list.

"What are you doing," A voice said from behind me. I turned around to see Skulduggery leaning over my chair trying to read what I was writing. I passed the notepad to him and he read it aloud.

"150 things I will not do in the sanctuary." He read, "Making a list about rules eh. I thought you preferred to break rules.

"I do," I replied, "we write down a rule and then we break it,"

He was silent for a second as if processing what I just said, then suddenly he straightened up.

"What the hell are we waiting here for, let's go to the sanctuary.

**Author's Note: And there you have it, Chapter 1. Tell me if you want me to continue by reviewing. Otherwise *aims rifle*. **


	2. Guild & Crux

**Author's Note: School sucks! I want my holidays back. I swear homework on the first day back. I hate my school. If you have any please leave all tragic stories about school or teachers in a review or PM. onto the Story…**

**Disclaimer: I am not Derek Landy, I do not own the Skulduggery Pleasant series, any characters or locations from the series or anything else from the series. **

**Chapter 2:**

**Rule number 1. I will not visit the sanctuary Gaol for the sole purpose of teasing Thurid Guild.**

* * *

><p>They had arrived at the sanctuary and already thought of the first rule to break. They headed over to the Sanctuary Gaol where Guild was being kept. The two Cleavers who guarded the door stepped aside to allow them passage. They went inside and found Guilds cage.<p>

"Come on Guild, you're coming with us," Skulduggery said slipping a pair of handcuffs onto guilds wrists before opening the door to his cage and leading him out.

"Why, what's happening," Guild asked confused.

"We're letting you go," Skulduggery said his face genuine.

"Really," Guild asked hopeful.

"No," Skulduggery replied dragging guild into an interrogation room, "We just got bored."

"You can't do that," Guild complained, "the Elders would never let you do that."

"Actually the Elders hate you, they wanted to come themselves, but they're just too busy," Skulduggery said.

"Who are they," Guild asked.

"Ghastly Bespoke, Erskine Ravel and Madame Mist," Skulduggery answered two of them hate you and Madame Mist was one of the masterminds behind the plan to overthrow you. You were never very popular."

"Anyway we have a couple of questions," I told him, "How did your wife feel?"

"About what,"

"You cheating on her," skulduggery chimed,"

"With who,"

"You know,"

"No with who,"

"With Crux obviously," Skulduggery said, "It was obvious you were in a relationship."

"What no,"

"Really, are you sure,"

"Yes,"

"It was kind of obvious, he's completely incompetent yet you still hire him,"

"He wasn't incompetent,"

"See you were in a relationship,"

"No I wasn't,"

"Then why are you defending him,"

"Bu- Bu- But," Guild spluttered.

"I think we proved our point," Skulduggery said turning to me."

"Let's take him back,"

"Sure, what's next on the list," He asked.

**Author's Note: I know it was rather short I'll try to make the rest longer. Please remember to review. Was anyone's day worse than mine? I bet not.**


End file.
